The Onion: NASCAR Coach Reveals Winning Strategy: Drive Fast

ivefantrance Says:

Sep 15, 2008 - I wonder how much funnier it would be if the tracks were really circular... TURN LEFT! TURN LEFT!

CarlosMCUT Says:

Sep 17, 2008 - So, if you win in Iraq/Afghanistan, talibans/insurgents get the silver medal

GerbaIity Says:

Sep 18, 2008 - this is true

nitsuarocks Says:

Sep 24, 2008 - LOL!!! extremly funny!!!!!!!!!!! :P

zeke7steve Says:

Sep 27, 2008 - lol at the rapist foiled by skort in the first news story

slaven133 Says:

Sep 27, 2008 - F1 is better.

VR46YAMAHA Says:

Oct 6, 2008 - F1's dire bollackal only over taking is in the pits, F1's gone down hill since the late 70's and im a brit and i prefer to watch Nascar tbh.

GhettoCountryBoi Says:

Oct 7, 2008 - This is funny even thought I'm a Nascar fan lol..

kcuskcid Says:

Oct 8, 2008 - there is no ghetto in the country u see only kikes and nuggerrzz live in dem places and they in theur city u hear me?

kcuskcid Says:

Oct 8, 2008 - u mean to say your legs have become jello too?

jebbNholly Says:

Oct 10, 2008 - Dan Amon does an excellent job of explaining the intricacies and complexity of Nascar driving. Unfortunately he neglected to mention that the race cars require gasoline in order to complete the race. Many drivers forget to fill their tanks prior to the race and end up stuck on the track or in the pit area. Also, and here is where it gets complicated, they need to ADD gas at some point during the race or they will stall on the racetrack. I'm surprised Amon didn't bring that up.

andid Says:

Oct 10, 2008 - then hopscotch or a presidential election is a sport. We must have some standards of athleticism and strategy, don't we?

vladimir2277 Says:

Oct 14, 2008 - I dint think I had it in me before, but after this life-changing video, I think I have what it takes to become a NASCAR coach. If only I knew this back when I was 12. GO F1!!!

stunned86 Says:

Oct 29, 2008 - I love the nascar coach in this one.

kookikrys Says:

Nov 4, 2008 - "isnt this straight enough?"

Sirradal Says:

Nov 7, 2008 - You're pretty cool man!

jbryandaviscom Says:

Nov 13, 2008 - I've said the same thing about basketball and baseball, they really require no athletic ability.

burleson89 Says:

Nov 14, 2008 - also i believe they forgot the fact that sometimes if you turn enough, you have to change the tires... you know the black round things that blow up sometimes

multitudinal Says:

Nov 14, 2008 - nascar is very popular in the deep south. fucking rednecks. so very proud, with no reason to be.

JohnsHouseofFun Says:

Nov 15, 2008 - I suppose that makes you smart.

cuzy08 Says:

Nov 15, 2008 - "Turn left, keep turnin' left, I'm turnin' left, now go srtay, I'm goin stray, now go fast, i'm goin' fast, keep goin' stray, I'm goin stray" Priceless!

ILagAlot Says:

Nov 17, 2008 - "If theres a car over there, don't go into that space cuz you might could hit him" So simple.. yet so genius

tnvolsfan2515 Says:

Nov 17, 2008 - this is hilarious i love nascar!

naughtyd0ggy Says:

Nov 20, 2008 - i dont know what is your definition of athletic ability but...baseball does require some of it and basketball requires alot

delta982 Says:

Nov 20, 2008 - wow those are some amazing tips, there is certainly alot to learn in NASCAR driving.